Chapter one: Realization
Where having no clear destination or plans for your future is a shame , where having no goals is prohibitive, I n this society where everyone should do anything to be better than expectations of his/her society, these were the circumstances where the young Mikadzuki[i] was living .This young and handsome boy who didn’t focus on anything except success ,the perfect boy in his school the best son of his family ,this boy who do things perfectly never waste time on meaningless things , workout everyday, read books of successful people ,a person with strong personality who used to be told that he is the best since he was a little child .This perfect person should have a perfect dream ,so since the society where he live sanctifies people who have big companies ,he decided to be one of them .After the decision he was completely focusing on his goal .Work everyday harder than the day before , in college also he was the brightest student , but even if he was the perfect picture for everyone around him none was realizing that this handsome young was so afraid ,the fear of failing was his worse nightmare ,for him not reaching the top is the hardest, but staying there is the real challenge ,that is why he was a committed person .He was working all day long ,for him there is no time for rest before reaching the goal. Mikadzuki’s best competitor was himself because he knows that he mustn’t compare himself with others ,he focus on himself always but he never had been supercilious ,he loves helping others he was so optimistic too .The one on his city who believes the perfection of the world so that he must be perfect too .He used to be the one who suffers in shadows but never lose hope .
After years of fighting against his overthinking and his fear of failing which was the reason who keep him pushing all problems in front of him to go forward ,toward his dream .Finally ,Mikadzuki got his college degree ,had the best job in a good company ,save money to start his own project .In the age of 28 he have already reach his goal to be the best in his field ,the best business man in his country .Now he could say that he was better than expectations .But he didn’t feel perfection inside him although his achievement are great .He feels the void inside ,he was so trifled ,he found himself on a state of huge amount of bad emotions ,still have the fear of failing ,he realized that even his great goal was a decision which he makes just for being away than the fear of not having any clear view for his future ,all the decisions that he makes ,all the hard times that he goes through ,all his life was building from fear ,he was afraid of being a failure ,having no goals being less than expectations ,admitting that he is not the perfect guy that all his society sees .Now he can’t deny more ,he can’t deny that his life wasn’t more than a big void covered by his fears .In the end this is mikadzuki’s destiny Mikadzuki said .He felt that all what he did in his life was so fake ,he even think that he is a fake person ,nothing in his life come from love .He can now admit that he hadn’t know himself yet ,he is now ready to start again a new life with the only goal that comes from the fact that he loves himself ,now for the first time he decide something not from his fears but from his self respect .He doesn’t even know from where he can start to achieve such goal ,but he is sure that he won’t stay unrealizable for his life .How could someone start a new life with a good sense of meaning ?This is the question he always ask .He search everywhere ,in books and between the life’s lines .He realizes that the ones who makes good change on their lives are the ones who suffers more .’’To revive you need to die first ,to start a new life you need to end the previous ,if you really want to pass for the next life you have to end the previous ‘’This was the answer that attracts Mikadzuki’s attention ,he don’t understand what this means ,what this person try to say with ending his life ?Should I suicide ?? What is wrong with my life ?
Chapter two :Meaning
A lot of questions with no convincing response .Maybe I need just to stop searching ,life has no meaning for me maybe dying will be fine also ……If I have a next life after my death as some of persons believe maybe I will be able to start the thing that I have miss in my previous life .These were the world that Mikadzuki had written before he tried to end his existence and also his life .But maybe life has another scenario ,Mikadzuki’s body have been found in an isolated beach of an island by the youngest beautiful and strong girl in this isle .Seikatsu[ii]* found the younger ,help him and give him all he needs to survive, she was so friendly with him ,She makes him forget all his problems he could finally say that he find a reason to live however he don’t understand what life means and how can you have a new life .His love for Seikatsu has developed day by day .She becomes his first and best love ,they live together share everything and enjoy every moment on their lives .But Seikatsu was worried about him ,she could not imagine that he don’t have the sense of life ,the sense of her so she decided to give him a better reason to live .She is now ready to tell him all .
Seikatsu:Dear…
Mikadzuki:Yes honey .
Seikatsu :Do you know the difference between life and death ?
Mikadzuki: What ?
Seikatsu : It’s the meaning ……when you live without understanding the meaning of your life ,you are already dead like you right now …..
Mikadzuki:’keep silent ‘
Seikatsu :In this period you loved the life but you still have ignored it’s meaning ,my meaning .Unfortunately I couldn’t stay more to teach you what is the real meaning of my words but I will provide you with the sun that will give you the sense for your life ,when you get complete when you experience the difference between existing and living ,dying materially and immaterially this is only the time when you can have a new life ,this is the time when you can revive ,because to revive you need firstly die ……I guess you heard this before.
Seikatsu disappeared immediately and Mikadzuki wake up crying by the name of ‘’Seikatsu please don’t go ….don’t let me alone ,suddenly he recognized that all what he lived with Seikatsu was a rosy dream who try to guide him to his goal no more .Now he lost his life ; Seikatsu ,he can’t dare to say that he is living but he is not dead also ,he finally reach the level where he could sense the being existed without living life anymore .
Chapter tree : Existed but not lived
Mikadzuki was going through the hardest moment that someone can live in its spiritual life ,he died spiritually ,he lost the taste of being alive ,life for him become without any meaning ,things that had happened before he met Seikatsu and all memories with her ,however it was just an illusion but it took him from the deep depression and makes him see the light once again ,life gives him the chance to restart maybe without feeling the soul inside but it never let him down .He don’t know what to do ,he return to live his average life ,he ignored all the signs and all ideas that makes him in trouble , as the best in his field he tried to grow more make more success and that’s all. He was not ready to face his overthinking and understand what he was going on in the big picture. But one day as he was on the way to return home ,he came across a little child crying ,it seems that his parents let him down for some reasons . He didn’t think about circumstances in that moment ,he just stop his car ,and bring the little child with him .As he lived with this clean soul ,he was very effected by him ,he finally loved someone ,however he wasn’t his real son but he was doing for him everything ,this little baby was ready to make him feel peace and safety ,he was like a gift from the heaven for Mikadzuki because he turned him alive ,he could feel life again ,he was able to smile again ,and the most important thing he considered was the fact that he is ready now to face ideas in his brain .He promise himself to be a good father for Raito(mikadzuki’s son and light in his nightmare).Even if he is far from full as the moon , Mikadzuki decide to start a new chapter of his life ,the new adventure where Mikadzuki will search his sun his will and as coelho call it :personal legend
To be continued
Mikadzuki ignored his overthinking try to not think about how hard is to be living a life without any sense of life , he know that it should be something to do with this state but he just could not think about any useful method he has already lost hope , he always ask him self the famous question what is the point?
Why should I weak up every morning to do the same daily work to see the same bad faces to face the same troubles to solve them with the a large amount of stress what is the point behind all of this? He asked a lot why I don’t have desires to do things that are normally what I like to do this state in which he lived where he could not continue doing the same thing even if he enjoy it a lot” I asked one day why we are supposed to do things that we don’t like ? why we couldn’t just do things that we like and the response was the logical answer ‘so that we don’t regret after ‘ but the problem is that regret is there however how good things that you did are because you will still regret the fact that you did not do things : instead of going to a party you preferred to stay and study for your exam that you have tree days after ; yeah it was good decision and then you find out that the party was very interesting and there are people who went to the party but still study for the exam here you find the injustice but then you should realize that stress that you will face could not be as much as this person who studied two day for exam ,but regardless all these facts there is one simple thing that we should keep in mind “we need to find balance “this is the key word to solve this hard quiz of regret we will regret if we did things that we want instead of what we must do we will regret also when we do things that we must do instead of what we want
[i] *Mikadzuki is the crescent moon in the Japanese language ,Mikadzuki isn’t complete it can’t be perfect because the crescent moon isn’t more than uncompleted moon
[ii] *Seikatsu is the term life in Japanese language here she is the guidance of the hero ,to understand life you need to love it
